Choosing what university to go to is like trying to decide your favourite chocolate. All chocolates are equally good, but it all depends on what flavour you’re in the mood for.
Being given a low offer by one of the country’s most prestigious universities is like turning up to Tescos one day, going to the chocolate section and finding that the Lindors have been reduced to a pound. A POUND! You suddenly yelp in excitement at the news, however, sat next to these Lindors, you see the Galaxy is also on offer – but this time the label reads ‘two for a pound’. You desperately search your pockets for a blessed two pound coin, but your heart cries in pain when you realise you can only afford one. On the verge on tears, you scream “BUT, WHAT DO I DO??!!!!”
Do you go for the Lindors; the ones deemed ‘the better quality’, more ‘prestigious’, perhaps even ‘metropolitan’ and, dare I say it, ‘middle class’? You picture yourself strutting round your newly decorated apartment, suavely sipping on a glass of Waitrose wine as you unwrap the seductive wrapper of that little Lindor, pretending to be a little bit posher than you really are. Or do you go for the Galaxy, which despite not having quite the same reputation as the Lindors, is still mouth-wateringly delectable. You can almost feel the comfort of being snuggled up on the couch watching New Girl guzzling away on its silky smoothness. For the same price, you can either get a smaller amount of more prestigious chocolates, or a greater amount of less elaborate chocolates which are still delicious none the less. Do you see the issue here?
The problem with choosing your chocolates is that you’re buying them for a party you’re holding in a few months’ time. You might want the Lindors now, but is it what you’ll want in a few months? The Lindors might have that seductive shinny wrapping that makes your heart race but, ultimately, it is not the wrapping that you’ll be eating. Yeah, sure, those Lindors are goddam cute, but does it really affect your enjoyment of the chocolate? No.
As the shininess of the Lindors seems to replaced itself with an unavoidable dullness, you realise the Galaxy might be more your taste. Forget what everyone else thinks! I’m an independent teenage girl and I’m not going to be told which chocolate is best! You can’t be arsed with all the fancy-pancy packaging of the Lindors – in fact, do you even like Lindors that much? On closer inspection, you realise the Galaxy is the new Honeycomb flavour you’ve never tried before. You become intrigued by this revelation – you’ve had the Lindors loads of times, you tell yourself. Try something new once!! Your mind is flooded with questions. Quality or Quantity? Tried and tested or something completely unknown? You begin to question every decision you’ve ever made in life but, after long deliberation, you think you’ve finally made your choice.
You reach out your hand to grab your final decision, when……..
“The store is now closing for the night. Please make your exist and good night.’
Well – it looks like you’ll just have to come back tomorrow and go through the same process again, then. And you leave, hungry and defeated.
Words by Juliette Rowsell